All Men Must Make Their Way
by TricksterSherlock
Summary: The rest of the Avengers have found out that Steve's birthday is the fourth of July, and have decided to celebrate it in true Avengers style. Disastrously, and with lots of scheming. Natasha/Clint and Steve/Bucky. Oneshot.


All Men Must Make Their Way

This is a story for my friend, who's birthday also happens to be the fourth of July.

* * *

**Coulson's Mission Log: Operation Party in the USA**

**Phase One**

**Date: 07/03/14**

**Time: 2350**

**Operation status: Ready**

Ten minutes until Captain Roger's birthday. Everyone is in place. The intel that lead to this mission was received less than a week ago from Barnes, so it has been a challenge to get everything arranged in time.

Stark has been a nightmare, as usual. He doesn't seem to be able to get over the fact that Rogers was born on the Fourth of July and spent much of the preparation time laughing about it. Nonetheless, with Miss Potts' insistence, has programmed Jarvis as requested.

Thor is more than happy to be involved and is in position. _He_ isn't causing any trouble or laughing about the date of Roger's birthday.

Barnes, on the other hand, also seems to find the date in question hilarious. He and Stark have been very active in the planning stages, although Barnes' ideas tend to be considerably more practical. And he even managed to convince Rogers to stay at Stark Tower.

Barton is in position. He was the obvious choice for his particular role and seems very keen. Almost worryingly keen. Which brings me to Romanov.

She's planning something, I _know_ it. Her and Barton have been talking secretly even more often than usual, though her main contribution to planning was to involve Barnes as directly as possible in all aspects of the operation, though this doesn't seem too suspicious. I can only hope that SHIELD's two best agents are professional enough to not jeopardise this mission.

**Hawkeye's Mission Log: Operation Polar Vortex**

**Phase One**

**Date: 07/03/14**

**Time: 2350**

**Operation Status: Ready**

I don't think Phil suspects a thing. Me and Nat have been planning this for almost as long as the Avengers have been planning Cap's birthday party. See, Natasha likes to intervene in people's lives- always with the best intentions, of course- and Cap, well, he doesn't really like his life being intervened with. It's a problem, but we have a solution. Nat thinks Steve need's a date, and there's no way she's going to stop intervening until he has one. So we thought- as a birthday present, y'know- we stop Nat intervening.

By getting him a date.

With Bucky.

Okay, the logic may be flawed, but Cap did say he wanted someone with "shared life experience".

Clint, we are _not_ calling it Operation Polar Vortex.

Why not? It's a great name. Don't steal my notebo-

And why are you even writing it in a notebook? We have laptops you know.

I prefer my notebook. And it's called Polar Vortex because it's the _Winter_ Soldier, and Captain _America_. And it sounds cool

We should call it Operation Barnes and Noble.

No, we're not doing that. Anyway, I think Bruce may be onto us, but he hasn't said anything or done anything except chuckle to himself occasionally so we're taking that as his blessing.

Nat's sorted the birthday plans so that Bucky's there basically the whole time. Starting in about five minutes, if Tony's done his part of Phil's plan.

**Coulson's Mission Log: Operation Party in the USA**

**Phase One**

**Date: 07/04/14**

**Time: 0200**

**Operation status: In Progress**

Stark did his job. The moment the date ticked over to the fourth of July, Jarvis woke up Rogers with a very loud recording of "Star Spangled Man with a Plan". It's one of my favourite songs, but Rogers didn't seem to enjoy it so much when he left his room with his hair sticking up to find Barnes, Stark, Thor, and Romanov with party poppers.

Barton was around, too. He showed up a little later, after making sure that the first part of his job was done well. Barton's job is filming the whole thing and putting it on YouTube. This part was Wilson's idea, but unfortunately he voiced it within earshot of Barnes. Once Barnes brought the idea to Stark there was no stopping it.

Rogers more or less accepted his fate and- after returning to his room to swap his dressing gown for clothes, actually seems to be enjoying himself. Though he isn't talking to Barnes because apparently he blames him for telling the rest of us when his birthday is.

Stark has only made two patriotism jokes, which is remarkable. Although he made fun of my Captain America Shield cufflinks. But they're antiques to he can shut up. God I hate that guy sometimes.

Barton's kindly supplied us with some of his secret, super-strong coffee stash so we're all reasonably awake. Which is good, because with phase one being a success, phase two is about to start.

Let's just say there's a reason we have Thor here.

**Hawkeye's Mission Log: Operation Barnes and Noble**

**Phase One**

**Date: 07/04/14**

**Time: 0200**

**Operation Status: Not brilliant**

I still think Polar Vortex was a good name. However, it's not a very good mission right now as Steve is blaming Bucky for telling us when his birthday is and is now not talking to him.

Still, at least he seems to almost be enjoying his birthday. Tony has made a playlist of obnoxiously American songs, which is nice. I wonder if there are any obnoxiously Canadian song-

Clint, if you could stay on topic.

And if you could stop stealing my notebook. Right. Phase two of Operation Party in the USA is about to be underway and phase one of Operation Polar Vortex

Clint we are not calling it that

Of Operation Barnes and Noble is not going well. Phase two can't work if they're not talking. We need a solution, quickly.

For some reason Nat is waving her cell phone at me and grinning.

Update:

Nat has a solution.

**Coulson's Mission Log: Operation Party in the USA**

**Phase Two**

**Date: 07/04/14**

**Time: 0515**

**Operation status: In Progress**

We informed Rogers of our collective intention to leave the tower to better celebrate his birthday. He took it just as Barnes predicted and refused. Luckily, we had prepared for this eventuality.

After Thor successfully carried Rogers, fireman style, to the destination, there were now two people Rogers isn't talking to.

Actually, three, now that he's worked out that Barton is filming when he's not writing something in his notebook and conspiring with Romanov.

Banner, who was waiting there with Wilson, was looking thoroughly amused at their antics, but if he knows what's going on he's not telling. At least I can be reasonably sure that if it were something that was going to compromise the mission, he's tell me.

More concerning is Wilson, who seems to find Roger's and Barnes' disagreement absolutely hilarious and is trying to reconcile them.

At least this phase is going well so far. Potts somehow managed to find a restaurant that shows movies and that was having a three AM screening of Independence Day, which we thought would be fun. The owners found our booking hilarious and had a great idea of their own. I'm not sure that the point of a birthday is to embarrass the person as much as possible but Stark was very keen.

**Hawkeye's Mission Log: Operation Polar Vortex**

**Phase One**

**Date: 07/04/14**

**Time: 0530**

**Operation Status: Better**

Sam is now in on our mission. Natasha texted him to make Steve start talking to Bucky again, and he was very keen. I don't know what he did, but

I thought we agreed we weren't calling it that.

You agreed. Polar Vortex is a much better name. Anyway, I don't know what he did, but they're certainly talking again. In fact, Steve, Bucky, and Sam seem to be talking a lot more than expected. I'm pretty sure Bruce has been listening to their conversation and knows exactly what's going on but he

How is Polar Vortex a better name than Barnes and Noble? How about you stick to filming and let me write this up?

Stop. Stealing. My. Notebook. It's my notebook, and I'm calling it Operation Polar Vortex. Anyway, Bruce seems to be enjoying himself a lot but he isn't telling us what Steve and Co are discussing, but at least they're talking again, so we can start phase two.

Also, because he knows what's going on now, Sam has offered to do the uploading to YouTube, both the videos for Operation Party in the USA and Operation Pol

Barnes and Noble

Polar Vortex. So that's one less thing for us to do. The movie is over but the owners of this place- which, luckily for Steve, is empty apart from us- have managed to find some old Captain America films and we're about to start embarrassing him. We have Thor ready to make sure that he stays put.

Update:

Well this is odd.

Update:

And annoying.

Update:

Okay seriously, someone better come and get me soon.

**Coulson's Mission Log: Operation Party in the USA**

**Phase Two?**

**Date: 07/04/14**

**Time: 0645**

**Operation status: A little problematic**

Rogers, predictably, didn't much appreciate us trying to embarrass him. On the other hand, he seemed to have cheered up enormously and spent much of the time in deep discussion with Wilson and Barnes. It's too early to say whether this is concerning or not.

Slightly more dangerous to the success of the mission is Rogers' unwillingness to sit through his own wonderful films. This is why we have Thor, who was all too happy to place Mjölnir on his lap to make him sit through them.

This is how we figured out that Captain Rogers can lift Mjölnir.

Very shortly after we figured out that Barton can't. Actually, someone should go back and get him.

Rogers left Mjölnir on top of Barton and managed to distract Thor (who was busy congratulating Rogers on being worthy) long enough to leave him there.

On the plus side, Rogers seems to be thoroughly enjoying himself now. On the downside it seems unlikely that we will be able to get this mission back on track quickly enough to pull off stage three. The sun is up now and I'm seriously considering sending a splinter team to retrieve Agent Barton. At least Wilson was keen to continue the filming in his stead.

Update:

Banner just whispered something in Wilson's ear and, after a quick discussion with Barnes and Rogers, Barnes suggested that Natasha and Thor go back to help Barton. Everyone's up to something except Stark. I never thought I'd be happy to have Stark involved.

**Falcon's Mission Log: Operation Black Hawk**

**Phase One**

**Date: 07/04/14**

**Time: 0710**

**Operation status: Natasha is going to kill me if she finds out.**

Steve and Bucky don't know that Natasha and Clint are trying to get them together. Natasha and Clint don't know that I managed to get them talking again by introducing them to the brilliantly named Operation Black Hawk. This is a highly classified mission with the sole objective of making Natasha and Clint realise their undying love for each other.

I'm the only person aware of both missions. Except maybe Bruce. I think Bruce knows everything that's going on and just isn't getting involved. He's the one who suggested we get Natasha to go back and get Clint. That's phase one.

Phase two involves phase two of Operation Polar Vortex/Barnes and Noble (I'm calling it Operation Starbucks on the internet, because those two are useless at naming things). We shall see how this goes.

**Hawkeye's Mission Log: Operation Barnes and Noble**

**Phase Two**

**Date: 07/04/14**

**Time: 0900**

**Operation Status: ?**

Okay, so I've decided to be the bigger person and let Nat name the mission.

The good news is that phase two worked perfectly.

The bad news is that it didn't work on Steve and Bucky.

See, we had this well thought out, very elaborate, amazingly clever plan that ended with Steve and Bucky watching a rom-com together. Part of this plan was this contact (I say contact- I mean some kid called Peter Parker who is a fan of Captain America and was mostly just happy to get paid) we set up to provide the tickets at the right time. Unfortunately the kid reported back that Phil was unhappy and that Bucky was going to watch it by himself- which obviously we couldn't have- unless we wanted the tickets.

This was clearly bullshit. I suspect that Sam is a double agent. But somehow me and Nat ended up at the theatre. I don't know what happened to Thor. It looked like it was going to be a good movie until Nat got bored and made me sneak into an action flick. Which is just typical of her. Seriously. It's not like we don't get enough action in our daily lives.

Update:

Okay, I definitely didn't mean that the way that it sounded.

Update:

We're holding hands? I don't remember this happening but we are very definitely holding hands now? What do I do? Do I pretend I haven't noticed? What is happening? Weren't we supposed to be on a mission?

**Falcon's Mission Log: Operation Black Hawk**

**Phase Two**

**Date: 07/04/14**

**Time: 0935**

**Operation status: So much better than I expected**

Clint should've paid that Peter kid better. He's so cheap we managed to double their price. Plus he was good enough to tell Thor to meet us at the vet.

Time to focus on Operation Starbucks.

Also, Phil looks like he's developing a stress ulcer.

**Coulson's Mission Log: Operation Party in the USA**

**Phase Something**

**Date: 07/04/14**

**Time: 1005**

**Operation status: Why is there now a cat?**

This is a nightmare.

Banner is in a corner with Stark, showing him some YouTube videos on his phone, which I gather are hilarious.

Thor has returned, but Agents Barton and Romanov are nowhere to be seen, which Wilson will not stop laughing about for some reason.

Oh, and somehow this is a conversation that took place:

**Rogers:** It's not your cat.

**Barnes:** But it's a stray, it's no one's cat. What should we call it?

**Rogers:** We're not calling it anything, you're not keeping the cat.

**Barnes:** But look at it. It's tiny and it got into a fight in an alley. I thought you could empathise.

**Rogers:** Shut up. You're not keeping the cat.

**Barnes:** I think I'll give it your middle name, since you're not using it.

**Rogers:** You're not keeping the cat.

**Barnes:** Nah, it doesn't really look like a Grant.

**Rogers:** You are not. Keeping. The cat.

Update:

He's keeping the cat. They've named it Jefferson, after Thomas Jefferson. Apparently it's very healthy for a cat that Barnes rescued from a back-alley brawl. It's also the spawn of the devil and has attacked everyone that isn't Barnes. Including the vet.

Update:

It's now sleeping in the hood of Barnes' jacket. Or pretending to; I'm trying my best not to get too close. Somehow Barnes convinced the demon to be nice to Rogers, but it hates everyone else immensely.

**Hawkeye's Mission Log: Operation Starbucks**

**Phase Probably, like, three**

**Date: 07/04/14**

**Time: 1230**

**Operation Status: Still not entirely sure what's happening**

I just saw a teenager in a homemade "Operation Starbucks" shirt give us the thumbs up. Sam says that's what the internet has decided our mission is called. Her friend's shirt said "Operation Black Hawk", whatever that means.

There is red white and blue everywhere, and I've heard "Born in the USA" at least seven times. Every time I do I think about the fact that Bruce Springsteen actually has a song called "Fourth of July, Asbury Park", which would be more appropriate, but no one seems to remember.

Now I think of it, he also has a song called "Independence Day".

Barton, stay on topic, will you?

Right. It's time for phase three. Unfortunately, that may be difficult because of where we are now.

**Coulson's Mission Log: Operation Party in the USA**

**Phase I'm Going With Four?**

**Date: 07/04/14**

**Time: 1300**

**Operation status: This is why SHIELD fell apart.**

We are now in New Jersey. I'm pretty sure Steve made sure we ended up here so we are as far away from any plans we may have had as possible.

Jefferson is now alert and perched on Barnes' shoulder like the raven on the bust of Pallas in that Edgar Allen Poe poem. How does that go? _And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming_… Jefferson (or Jeff, as Rogers now calls him, apparently he mistakenly thinks the monster is cute) may have demon eyes, but it is certainly not dreaming. Most of the Avengers may be plotting something, but I'm pretty sure that that thing is plotting the apocalypse. Barnes is feeding it little pieces of birthday cake.

Speaking of which, how Stark managed to get an apple pie flavoured birthday cake is beyond me. It's huge, being carried about the New Jersey (why are we here again?) boardwalk by Thor, and is absolutely covered in red, white, and blue icing. And that's not to mention the ninety-seven candles on top. They are still lit. I feel like I've lost control of my life.

Someone was playing Fourth of July, Asbury Park- this being New Jersey- and for some reason Clint acted like this was the greatest thing that could possibly happen. I have decided not to ask.

Stark and Banner are still looking at their phones. I have decided not to ask about that, either.

In fact, I'm not asking about anything. Hopefully if I'm not aware of it, it will go away.

Update:

I have just been handed a piece of birthday cake with the candles still burning. Why is this day not over yet?

Update:

Where did Barnes and Rogers go? Wilson is missing, too. Romanov and Barton keep exchanging significant glances.

I.

Am not.

Asking.

**Falcon's Mission Log: Operation Black Hawk**

**Phase Three**

**Date: 07/04/14**

**Time: 1335**

**Operation status: I am the greatest matchmaker in existence**

I decided to help Natasha and Clint out with Operation Starbucks like I'd promised, so I convinced Steve and Bucky to hide under the boardwalk while the rest of the Avengers pass. Basically, all the plans in Operation Party in the USA past phase one have fallen through. I thought I would leave them alone a little and talk to Phil some. We tend to bond over job satisfaction, except he doesn't seem very satisfied with his job right now. In fact, he seems about ready to retire and start a petting zoo or something.

Besides, as I was leaving Bucky made some joke to Steve about how he still hadn't learned to dance. So I went to the store above and convinced them to play a song called Independence Day, by Bruce Springsteen. It is really, really, not at all a good song to celebrate Independence Day with, but it's a nice song and slow. It got to that bit about _all men must make their way, come Independence Day_ and now they're slow dancing, so I'm going to report back to Clint and Natasha. And see what else I can do about Operation Black Hawk.

Maybe I can even cheer up Phil. If I'm lucky I can get him to stop calling me by my last name. Seriously, why do SHIELD agents only know each other by their last name?

In other news, one of the YouTube comments is "You motherfuckers are idiots" from someone called Both Eyes Open.

**Coulson's Mission Log: Operation Party in the USA**

**Phase I'm Not Even Sure This Matters Anymore**

**Date: 07/04/14**

**Time: 1440**

**Operation status: I suppose it's not too bad**

So Sam (I call him Sam now) finally caught up with us and has informed me that Rogers is actually enjoying himself a lot, and is just taking a bit of a break. He said it in a strangely smug voice but I'm not going to ask.

Stark, Thor, and Banner have tagged along with some stranger's barbeque so it's just us, Clint, and Natasha (I call them Clint and Natasha now). At least the satan-cat is as far away from me as possible. I can see why Egyptians thought they were evil spirits. Sam has a long scratch on his hand that he is holding very gingerly. It is still bleeding.

In other news, there's a ballroom dancing competition nearby and Sam somehow managed to convince Natasha and Clint to join (mostly by telling Natasha that Clint was probably a better dancer that her). He is now filming it.

I have no idea what's going on and have decided now is the time to ask Banner to explain it. If I can find him.

**Hawkeye's Mission Log: Operation Starbucks**

**Phase Something, I guess**

**Date: 07/04/14**

**Time: 1545**

**Operation Status: Really good. Really really good. Amazing. Wonderful.**

We came second in the ballroom dancing competition and Natasha won't stop muttering how we're clearly better that the winners in bitter Russian under her breath as we look for Phil and Sam. Who are missing. Along with everyone else.

I can't say I mind.

I've worked out what Sam is up to and I've just decided to let it happen. I could do worse that Nat. I could do a lot worse. And I am one hundred per cent sure that I couldn't do any better.

God I hope she doesn't read this.

Anyway, with Sam's matchmaking skills, Steve and Bucky should be dating by the end of the night, so everything is going very, very well. Better than well.

Still don't know where anyone is, though.

**Coulson's Mission Log: Operation Party in the USA**

**Phase This Definitely Wasn't Part of the Plan and I Blame Barnes**

**Date: 07/04/14**

**Time: 1650**

**Operation status: God knows**

Okay, I'm pretty sure that Sam's cut should have stopped bleeding by now. We had to leave Clint and Natasha to their own devices so I could take him to the hospital for stitches. Jefferson is using dark magic, I swear to god. He's not even a black cat. He's this adorable fluffy, patchy one that still has blue eyes.

Update:

I definitely did not mean to say adorable.

Update:

I would have thought the Falcon would be able to handle stiches better than this.

**Falcon's Mission Log: Operation Black Hawk**

**Phase I hate everything**

**Date: 07/04/14**

**Time: 1655**

**Operation status: Stupid, evil cat**

Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow

**Hawkeye's Mission Log: Operation Starbucks**

**Phase Whatever**

**Date: 07/04/14**

**Time: 1745**

**Operation Status: Pretty sure Nat is going to murder Sam in his sleep**

So we found Thor, Bruce, and Tony again, all laughing at something on Bruce's cell phone, as they have been all day. We asked him what it was and he said twitter.

This is how we found out that #operationblackhawk is trending. So is #operationstarbucks. Apparently people are taking sides about which will succeed first.

I hate Sam.

I mean, I know we've been putting this whole thing on the internet, too, but I really hate Sam. Besides, this whole filming thing was his idea.

Nat is now telling me to stop humming Fourth of July, Asbury Park to myself. It's sort of stuck in my head, I'll never understand why it wasn't used for the Hurricane Sandy news coverage; it's about the New Jersey boardwalk _and_ a girl called Sandy

Clint you're getting off topic again.

Yes. Sorry. Anyway, we've lost something once already today, so Nat is determined to make sure that Operation Starbucks is the winner. Which is annoying. I mean

How is it annoying?

That's not what I meant to say, Nat. stop reading my notebook.

It's a mission log, Clint, not a diary.

I _know_. Sorry.

**Falcon's Mission Log: Operation Black Hawk**

**Phase Probably Seventeen or Something**

**Date: 07/04/14**

**Time: 1840**

**Operation status: Compromised**

So Natasha looked on twitter. I hope my funeral is nice. Lots of people crying. Lovely things said about me.

On the other hand, Steve and Bucky have caught up with us, and they're holding hands. Also, the hashtags had a mention on the six o'clock news. I'm really glad Phil didn't notice.

But more importantly, I've just had a very interesting conversation with Clint. Time to use my amazing matchmaking skills again.

**Coulson's Mission Log: Operation Party in the USA**

**Phase Seven**

**Date: 07/04/14**

**Time: 1955**

**Operation status: Somehow back on track thanks to Stark of all people**

The bad news is that I'm pretty sure that Jefferson is thinking of recipes for cooking human while he looks at me with those homicidal blue eyes. Is homicidal blue a colour? I think it should be a colour.

The good news is at least we've made it back to New York and Steve (I call him Steve now!) seems to be enjoying himself much more than he was this morning. At least, he was enjoying himself, until Thor and Bucky (not even James, Bucky! This is such a good day) decided he would be much more comfortable on their shoulders. His body language seems to be suggesting he'd rather be put down. Something about the expression on his face and the set of his shoulders and the way he keeps saying "Put me down!".

But before that happened Sam was whispering something to them and now I'm concerned again.

Anyway, I am grateful to Stark, against every instinct, for managing to get us all back into the right state by suggesting we go to the bar. So this should be… fun.

Natasha insisted we stop at a Starbucks for coffee first, though. There were plenty of coffee shops around, but she said it had to be Starbucks. Apparently she wanted a photo. These people are weird.

**Falcon's Mission Log: Operation Black Hawk**

**Phase fifty-three, maybe**

**Date: 07/04/14**

**Time: 2040**

**Operation status: Interesting**

I've told Steve and Bucky about Operation Starbucks. This is how that went:

**Steve:** How bad do you think we are at technology?

**Bucky:** We may be a little old fashioned but we worked out the internet pretty quickly. We know about Operation Starbucks.

**Steve:** Why do you think Jefferson took a swipe at you?

**Bucky:** You were being mean about him on the internet.

**Jefferson:** Meow. [Not sure if this means "I agree" or "I'm going to slit your throat while you're sleeping". Could be either]

**Steve:** Good boy, Jeff.

So I told him what Clint told me, that Natasha wasn't going to let Operation Black Hawk work until Starbucks was a success. I was concerned that they'd get a little competitive but they agreed to help for the good of Operation Black Hawk. It's getting dark now, and the fireworks are starting. Might as well make the picture look nice.

**Coulson's Mission Log: Operation Party in the USA**

**Phase Still Seven**

**Date: 07/04/14**

**Time: 2050**

**Operation status: Uh…**

I just watched my childhood heroes kiss.

**Hawkeye's Mission Log: Operation Starbucks**

**Phase !**

**Date: 07/04/14**

**Time: 1745**

**Operation Status: Success! We won!**

Natasha got a photo so Operation Starbucks is officially a victory. Happy birthday, Steve.

Bruce is grinning. Thor seems delighted. Stark is more interested in Steve and Bucky's supposed inability to get drunk then in their new-found romance, and has set up a "science experiment" in the bar.

Basically, he's bought a lot of alcohol. This has been a great day. The only regret is that we didn't finish that first movie we were watching because Nat wanted to see an action film.

Oh, get over it. You can pick the movie on our next date.

On our next…?

I've been a spy most of my life, Clint. A very good one. You think I didn't know about Operation Black Hawk from the start?

Stop grinning.

Make me.

**Coulson's Mission Log: Operation Party in the USA**

**Phase Continues to be Seven**

**Date: 07/04/14**

**Time: 2130**

**Operation status: Well**

Now Natasha and Clint are kissing. Yay.

**Falcon's Mission Log: Operation Black Hawk**

**Phase two hundred and seventeen**

**Date: 07/04/14**

**Time: 2130**

**Operation status: Ha hahaha haha!**

Yes! Another success! I am a matchmaking legend! Suck it, Cupid.

Barton's back on filming, and Steve and Bruce are taking Stark's challenge very seriously. So far they've both had more than a considerable amount of alcohol and all evidence suggests that the super-serum is doing its job too well, as usual.

Update:

Never mind. They're now singing old army songs.

**Hawkeye's Mission Log: Operation Starbucks**

**Phase !**

**Date: 07/04/14**

**Time: 2155**

**Operation Status: Everything is great**

I wasn't aware that there were so many words to _Hitler Has Only Got One Ball_.

Good to know our brave soldiers put so much thought into the testicular situation of the various enemy leaders.

**Falcon's Mission Log: Operation Black Hawk**

**Phase eight thousand and three**

**Date: 07/04/14**

**Time: 2225**

**Operation status: Everyone's a little tipsy, except Steve and Bucky, who are way more than tipsy thanks to Stark**

Steve and Bucky are now trying to convince each other that they are not drunk. Something rather undermined by the fact that they are very, very drunk. Apparently there's some sort of competition going on between them about who's serum works better. The fact that Bucky says he used to be able to drink Steve under the table seems to be making them both more determined. Stark is taking bets. This is a lot funnier than it should have been on account of the fact that Steve and Bucky aren't the only ones drinking.

Update:

Bucky has finally conceded defeat on account of the fact that he has fallen down and can't seem to work out how to stand up again. Stark owes Phil fifty dollars.

**Coulson's Mission Log: Operation Party in the USA**

**Phase Seven**

**Date: 07/04/14**

**Time: 2335**

**Operation status: yes**

We're all going back to Stark tower. Bucky is asleep. Steve isn't actually looking too bad. I don't think anyone else could have survived the amount of alcohol he's consumed tonight, let alone managed to sing what Clint assures me are the wrong lyrics to Bruce Springsteen's _Independence Day_ quietly to himself.

**Hawkeye's Mission Log: Operation Starbucks**

**Final Operation Status: Mission Accomplished**

**Coulson's Mission Log: Operation Party in the USA**

**Final Operation Status: Let's just call it mission accomplished**

**Falcon's Mission Log: Operation Black Hawk**

**Final Operation Status: Mission accomplished, though I'm still pretty sure that Natasha is going to kill me.**

**Captain America's Mission Log: Operation Ghost of Birthdays Future**

**Phase One**

**Date: 07/05/14**

**Time: 0010**

**Operation status: In Planning**

Today- or yesterday, I guess- was probably the greatest birthday I ever had.

I am going to get revenge on everyone involved.


End file.
